bicentennial blog

I don't know if it's much of a celebration, but I just passed the 200 mark. It's been fun.

Minivans

Some friends and I were discussing minivans yesterday, so this story seemed appropriate.

A man was driving down the highway late one night when his minivan broke down. He turned on his flashers and tried to get someone's attention to help him. Eventually a Lamborghini Countach pulls up. "Any chance I could get a lift into town?" said the minivan driver.

"I can do better than that," the man driving the Countach replied. "I've got a V-12 under this hood, I can tow you to the nearest town, no problem. Just honk your horn and flash your lights if I start going too fast."

They head off down the road and eventually come to a stop light and up pulls a Ferrari F40 with a V-10. The F40 began to rev its engine to get the Countach to race. The Countach revs its engine and the light turns green. They fly out of there, and about a half a mile down the road they pass a speed trap.

The officer there watches them pass and radios to base saying, "Base, you will not believe what I just saw. A F40 and a Countach were driving down the road doing about 120 with a minivan honking its horn and flashing its lights trying to pass them!"

A man's dog

Now this is a real dog. I would love to have this dog...

Hercules: World's Biggest Dog, World's Heaviest Dog according to Guinness World Records


Hercules was recently awarded the honorable distinction of Worlds Biggest Dog by Guinness World Records. Hercules is an English Mastiff and has a 38 inch neck and weighs 282 pounds.

With "paws the size of softballs" (reports the Boston Herald), the three-year-old monster is far larger and heavier than his breed's standard 200lb. limit. Hercules owner Mr. Flynn says that Hercules weight is natural and not induced by a bizarre diet: "I fed him normal food and he just grew".... and grew. and grew. and grew.

Hercules' sheer volume may have won him the Largest Dog world record, but the Heaviest Dog title still rests with Kell who weighed in at 286 pounds in August of 1999. This English Mastiff, however, only has a 32-inch neck - far less than Hercules' 38-incher. Think about that for a second though - 32 inches is a standard waist size for a man!

Proud owner Tom Scott said Kell is two years old and is expected to continue to grow for the next two years. Kell needs to be fed 100lb of beef every week, and drinks gallons of goats' milk to stay healthy... So hopefully Tom Scott is a wealthy man, because most would go broke feeding this monstrosity!

Tom Scott said: "People cannot believe the size of her. When we go to the vet in people stop and stare and they even gather outside the vet's to get a look." Surprising huh?!

May the force be with you

Awesome eggs! My kids loved making their own, but not quite this fancy... nice work Pro-egg designer, I was wondering when we'd get to see the creations. They kinda look like Star Wars bobbleheads.

Idiots beware

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

Now if you have fallen for this, felt bad for this guy, or got upset because you thought the story was about the time you got pulled over in Pennsylvania ... then yes you might be an idiot.

Snake found

After search, Google finds snake in office...

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Google Inc may be famous for instant searches, but it took a bit longer to find a 3-foot python that escaped in its massive Manhattan offices.

The pet of one of its employees, "Kaiser" got loose over the weekend, prompting a search that ended when the snake was found Monday night, according to company spokeswoman Ellen West. "We are pleased to report that Kaiser was located in the office," West said in a statement. "Kaiser was taken home by his owner and is no longer in the building."

The slippery snake was reported Monday by Valleywag.com, a technology gossip Web site. Valleywag said the gray and brown reptile was brought to the building by an employee who didn't want to be away from it during the work day. It was dangerous to mice but not humans, Valleywag said. West declined to say how the python escaped, or who found it. The episode "was not an April Fool's Day joke," she said.

The next big thing

You don't want to miss this opportunity. This will revolutionize how you live your life. Look at some of the things that people are saying...

“Gmail Paper is a scrapbooker's dream. I paper archive all of my son's emails, cut them out in creative shapes, and paste them in my binders.”

Anna-Christina D., Lifecoach

"It's paper, plain and easy. I sometimes find myself wondering: what will Google think of next? Cardboard?"

Bill K., Armchair Futurist

Too Early

I can remember getting up early, crazy early for three special occasions: a father son fishing trip (I was in 5th grade, we caught a crooked fish), a fishing trip on my 16th birthday (it snowed in N.D. in May, but we still went fishing), and then my first hunting trip. All three times I can remember thinking this is crazy. This would make a fourth...

In the wise words of scuttle, "We're out to discovah!"

10 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."
3. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone is over their caffeine fix, switch to espresso.
4. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
5. Order a diet water whenever you are out to eat.
6. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."
7. Sing along at the Opera.
8. 5 days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
9. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
10. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I Won!, I Won!"

MacGyver...

what a great show...

Church Video Game

A recent story about a new video game... read the full story.

REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — At a recent board meeting, pastor Darrell Smith of Trinity Fellowship put a video game controller in each member's hands. Soon the 12 men were clobbering each other on an oversized TV screen as they played Altar Egos: Rumble in the Pew, the latest church staff craze.

"I haven't felt this good about church in years," said one board member, smiling and sweating.
Video game maker Electronic Arts created Altar Egos to test the market for Christian video games. The game, which EA describes as "Grand Theft Auto without the graphic violence and sex, and set in a church building," is not yet available in stores but was sent to hundreds of churches across the U.S. where it has become an instant obsession.

"It's a guilty pleasure," says a pastor in Appleton, Wisc., who plays with his staff as weekly therapy, but keeps the game a secret from his congregation. "It keeps tempers down around here. You seek out the person you're annoyed with and whack them. They say, 'Your sermon stunk,' and they hit me with a mic stand. And I say, 'Oh yeah? Well worship was lousy,' and bonk them over the head with a family-size Bible. Then we put down the controllers, go back to work and everything's fine."

Wow. What does this say about the sad state of the church today?

One liners...

I thought these were fun, but yet so true.

• Don't let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you.
• Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due.
• Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible.
• Try Jesus. If you don't like Him, the devil will always take you back.
• A clear conscience makes a soft pillow.
• Satan subtracts and divides. God multiplies and multiplies.

Superbowl Party

So much for the annual church superbowl parties.

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) -- The NFL has nixed a church's plans to use a wall projector to show the Colts-Bears Super Bowl game, saying it would violate copyright laws.

NFL officials spotted a promotion of Fall Creek Baptist Church's "Super Bowl Bash" on the church Web site last week and overnighted a letter to the pastor demanding the party be canceled, the church said.

Read the rest of the story.

Listen closely

An elderly couple was attending church services-- about halfway through she leans over and says to her husband, "I just let out a silent fart-what do you think I should do?"

He replies, " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

The blog turns 100.

100 posts and counting. The next 100 will be exciting.

Things I have learned in the past 100 posts:

• the meaning of a blog: a web log, an online journal.
• you get funny looks from people that dont know what a blog is when you say you have a blog. kind of like a dog hearing a high pitch sound. "you have a what?"
  
• blogging is not for everyone.
• creative blogging is an art form.
  
• life is all about perspectives. blogs really magnify those perspectives.
  
• people that blog daily are addicted to blogging. wait i have just blogged two days in a row... oh maybe that blog multiple times in a day... nevermind.
  
• take time to remember the good things in life. dont waste your time focusing on all the negative junk in the world.
  
• life's too short to waste it.
• HTML code, enough said.
• google analytics is really cool.
• dont take yourself too seriously.
  
• learn to laugh at yourself.
  
• a picture is worth 1000 words... plus one.
• if you have read all of these, thanks for checking out the last 100 in my small corner of the blog life.
  

RelativityM.C. Escher, a great artist. His work is so intriguing. Some thoughts on M.C. Escher work...

• I could stare at this for way too long
• Staring at this too long can make you dizzy
• Things aren't always as they appear
• It would be really cool to live in a M.C. Escher world
  

Geek Graffiti

Just a quick "hello" to all my new visitors. Thanks to google analytics I have been able to see a 200% increase in visitor traffic. I would love to hear from some of you, so if you have a moment shoot me an email.

You look so much like... So, I am really bad with who people look like. Someone told me that I look like a country music singer. Seeing that I don't and won't listen to country music... I won't really ever know. Now, there's a site that tells you what celebrity you look like. I still don't see it, but it is fun to see the results.

A Close call...


While driving on the frontage road on the South side of Black Road I had a close call today. This morning, actually all day it has been raining. As you can see from the picture there is a 90 degree turn on the frontage road. Many cars have driven off the road at this corner. I was able to see this first hand today. A car came up on the turn very fast and then hit the curb, it then jumped the curb practically doing a 180 degree turn in the air. The car landed on the curb after skidding across the grass. It then spun out on the street head on in the lane about 10 feet infront of me. I steered around the car into oncoming traffic, narrowly missing an accident. All in all it was a huge blessing being able to avoid the accident. I only wish two things would have been different: a) I had a camera with me to take pictures to post (b) I had a video camera rolling, it was like a scene out of a movie. This would have been great on YouTube.