Fab 5 team killers

This year's Catalyst has stirred up quite a bit of conversation. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to make it this year. Dave Ramsey's session has been the hands down favorite of the conference.

Here is some of what I have gathered... and some of what I've been chewing on...

Dave Ramsey:

The 5 things that bring about confusion or disunity:
1. Poor Communication
2. Gossip
3. Unresolved disagreements
4. Lack of shared purpose
5. Sanctioned incompetence

Thoughts on going #2... Gossip

Your negative comments should go to a supervisor and your positive comments should go to a co-worker or someone that works for you. Don't talk about your problems with people who can't fix them. That's gossip! I have seen and experienced the destructive force of gossip. Gossip is so easy to do and to be a part of; it is a battle to not jump in and destroy. It takes so little strength to gossip. There is no risk of authentic relationships involved in gossip. I certainly haven't perfected this one, but I am determined that I will not play a part in gossip. My personal character and integrity is worth more than a few fleeting moments of lame conversation.

I have been in a work environments where a lot of these things have been present: incompetence, gossip, disagreements, and lack of shared purpose. Yes, they are destructive and drive a serious wedge. As a leader these 5 things must be fought fervently and fought daily. I don't know how to say it any differently... stop everything and evaluate the fabulous 5 team killers. Don't take another step until you are sure that you fighting the 5. They can creep up.

Redeeming Relationships

An interesting conversation got me started on this... Relationships. Many times a relationship that needs work is easier to cast off and start over. Divorce. Church hop. Quitting a small group. Quitting. Firing. Relationships. They take work and it's easier to skip out than do the work it takes to make the relationship great.

Is it really easier or just more convenient? I don't believe that it's easier. Ending a relationship is just as, if not, more messy than redeeming it.

There is no doubt it takes more effort to redeem a relationship. We love hearing the juicy details of drama. We'd rather not have to make the effort to dig in and see the relationship through the mess of redemption. Maybe it's that the grace required to redeem a relationship doesn't come easy. Sadly, the church could do a much more stellar job of redeeming and restoring relationships.

So, as I've started processing... here are some thoughts on redeeming relationships:

1. Initiate. Take the first step. Don't wait for anyone else or any circumstances to make the timing right. Honestly, the time will never feel right.

2. Be quick. Don't wait. Tomorrow never comes and the relationship won't be restored over time. Time seems to have the opposite effect.

3. Lead. Start from a position of grace. We don't often feel the necessity of grace until we've lived this out. We all need grace in different amounts and at different times. It is much easier when we start with offering grace as a road to redeeming a relationship.

4. Be open. Most likely I have gotten a few of the details wrong. Be prepared to be wrong... at least on a couple things.

I'm sure there are more... this is something I have been digging through for a while now. There will certainly be more on this topic.

Hey! Look over here...

Made ya look.  

For some reason this is a fun game for my kids.  "Hey dad, look an elephant!  Ha!  Made ya look."  This game could go on for hours.  As I drove to work today I turned off a few distractions.  I feel like there have been quite a few things distracting my attention lately.  Disclaimer: sure, there are times that some distractions are good.  If you've been focused in on a project; it's good to take a break and distract your attention for a bit.  Ok... that's over.  For the most part distractions are not beneficial to the end game.  I remember my first accident; being distracted at 16 by my radio led to me crunching the front end of my Z.  Those events are fixable, but being distracted from something eternal...  

The events this morning got me processing what are the distractions that I don't see right now.  Some leadership circles might term it "sideways energy".  I wouldn't even give it that much credit.  What distractions do I know of that I can change?  I think that one of the worst distractions as a follower of Christ is to get distracted off of purpose.  We don't have to be led into some big, huge, destructive, divisive sin, just distracted from our purpose and meaning far enough to cause a crash with eternal ripples.

Truth

One of my new favorite shirts is from the Jedidiah Hope Series. I picked it up a couple of months ago. I am a huge Jedidiah fan. I still remember my first Jedidiah Risk shirt almost 6 years ago. My new shirt features a phrase about truth that sealed the deal that this shirt would be coming home with me that day. It reads...

Truth Fears Nothing

The phrase has stuck with me. Does truth really fear nothing? Do people believe that? Do we live that? What about the church and truth? Sadly, it's just the opposite, people fear truth?

Why is truth feared? truth hurts... truth is messy... truth is hard to do in love.

Even still I am afraid that we fear the truth all too much. What's worse this fear seems to be prevalent especially in the church. We talk a good game; we are all about truth, but in the words of Jack... "you can't handle the truth". We'd rather fake a good game then have to deal with the harsh reality that we don't have it together. No wonder that authentic relationships are hard to find and so desired. Young leaders crave someone that is authentic and willing to, in truth, fear nothing.

There are a couple areas that this "truth-avoidance" sticks out the most.
• Church leadership... when the truth gets too personal it's rejected.
• Sacred cows... when the truth affects my ministry then I don't want it.
• Perceived truths... perception is everything. In many churches perception and appearance seem to be more important than heart condition.

Craig posted about the power of truth. It got me thinking about truth... how warmly do we welcome truth in our lives and in our ministries? It's been my experience that it's not too warm, maybe more like a cold shoulder. I value people that can speak the truth in love and receive it in love also. Just one of the many reasons I love the authenticity of the place we are in right now!

I like the truth. The bible actually says that it will set you free. Do we really believe it?

A lesson in puddle jumping

As the storm came through I would occasionally peek outside to check the status. At best it was a rainstorm with a moment of high winds. For the most part the DFW area only experienced a light bit of rain today. We are praying for the TX coastal cities that were hit so hard. The pictures and video of what happened in Houston and Galveston are unbelievable. So many of our church staff have relatives that are affected by Ike.

At one point I stepped outside and it seemed to be a perfect opportunity to have my kids come out and play. The kids had been inside all day and were getting a bit stir crazy. I had no idea they'd have so much fun. We ended up walking around the block. The longer we went the more the kids jumped. At one point I had to roll up Sam's pants so that he could keep jumping.

We found the drain where the water was rushing to. We sent leaf boats down the drain and jumped around. I was reminded of a few things on our puddle jumping walk today.

• Go for it... I didn't have to teach my kids how to jump in the water. I showed them the best puddles and they jumped. How many times do I know the right thing to do, have it pointed out, and yet wait to think about if it's right or not?

• Carefree... I saw this quite a bit on our walk. Emma's socks were getting wet and Sam's pants got soaked, but they didn't care because they were having a blast.

• Laugh a lot... there was no shortage of laughter on this walk. By the end of the walk the kids had even made the spashing into a game. I am convinced that there are too many adults that have lost their ability to laugh and have fun. The saddest part of all is that most of these adults think they are being a better Christ follower this way. Some how there's an equation with honoring Christ and being boring. Just to clarify, I totally disagree! A Christ-like life is the most exciting life. A God-honoring life is more exciting than the greatest day of puddle jumping. Jumping in puddles is good for the soul.

Watching my kids jumping around and laughing today made me remember a time like this for me. One particular rainstorm I jumped onto my BMX bike and rode all day. I was soaked. It was great. Somehow responsiblity equals not taking any risks. We even term it as calculated risks. Can a risk be calculated?

Get out... find a puddle... and jump. It's kinda fun.
Live life and experience some laughter.
Live the life that Christ has said we can.

Questions for Guys

Proverbs 27:17... I love concept of iron sharpening iron; but like Tony says, "it's usually just two dull rocks passively talking about sports." Or maybe it's someone that thinks they've got enough people around them and they are doing good enough. How are we doing at being authentic with each other? How authentic am I being in my relationships?

Tony posted some great questions for guys. Check them out. Here's a few...

Are you honoring your wife in your marriage’s sex life?
Are you giving your kids the right attention?
What did God teach you in your quiet time this morning?
What have you done right this week in your faith? marriage? family? job?
What is something worthy of celebration in your life that you’ve just kept to yourself? Let’s go party about it!

Risk

A while back I had a shirt that had RISK boldly printed across the front of the shirt. I like taking risks. Steven and Seth post some thoughts about risk and how it has an effect in our lives. They compare: boldly take risks when we have nothing to loose vs. how we aren't as bold with our risk taking when we have more to loose. When we have more to loose...

"There is now a strong temptation to mistake risk aversion for maturity.
Sometimes, under the guise of getting wiser, growing deeper, or waiting on God, we let our audacity atrophy and set the stuff that made us special on the shelf.

That must really insult God. After we’ve already seen Him part seas, kill giants, and multiply fish and loaves, we should be more inclined to push our chips to the center of the table, not less!

Otherwise, we’ll eventually find ourselves building altars in honor of where God was."

Blog Break

Thanks to all the faithful blog-watchers. I have been on kinda an unintentional blogging break. While there has been plenty that I've been thinking of blogging about, I have kinda put a pause on blogging.

I was recently at a bloggers round table discussion where Mark said that one of his blog mottos (paraphrased) is "all positive". I have really tried to take that to heart. A positive outlook is rare in this world today, it is a choice... a difficult choice for some, but either way it is a daily choice. Your positive or negative outlook or attitude comes out in a plethora of ways in our lives. There have been many negative things that have happened to me and my family in the past year or so. These events have been great moments of learning, BUT by choice they haven't and won't shape who I am. That is the daily choice to make... do the events of life shape who we are or do we choose who we are.

I love the shirt from Big Dogs... attitude is everything.